2nd Amendment extremism for the 1st Amendment

A note to the lunatic, NRA-type 2nd Amendment absolutists out there. Here are some ideas I have on how to exercise my absolute 1st Amendment rights.

Given my rights under the 1st Amendment, I will stand outside your home on the public street shouting obscenities all night long. Neither the state nor you have the right to cut me off. Oh, and I will use a bullhorn, because the tool doesn’t matter, only the right to use it.

Given my rights under the 1st Amendment, I will get all of my friends to peaceably assemble around your home, also shouting obscenities all night long. Using bullhorns. We will also march everywhere you go. There is nothing you can do about it under our absolute rights.

Given my rights under the 1st Amendment, I’m going to start a religion. Like those good, old-timey religions, it will require human sacrifice. There will be nothing you can do to stop it under my absolute right to religious freedom.

Given my rights under the 1st Amendment, I’m going to start a newspaper that publishes every day that you have joined this new religion and that you have the sacrificed the most people. Doesn’t matter if it’s true, because I am asserting my absolute right to a free press.

Now, I’m sure you and maybe even some unpatriotic libtards will object to my interpretation of the 1st Amendment. Something about setting reasonable limits on time, manner, or place on the exercise of our rights, or some other such nonsense.

But I know, in the end, 2nd Amendment NRA-style absolutists, that you will join me in defending our 1st Amendment rights against these grave attacks. I look forward to your support.

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